 We call this (pictured) six-week-old male Chihuahua "Wawa": it means doll in Chinese, and him hardly bigger than a Beanie Baby; it was also my friend's son's first word, reminding me of the way he'd point at the television whenever there'd appear anything resembling a dog--including once, dashing any hopes that his mother had for his intelligence, a dinosaur; and, of course, it rhymes. (See what great names Anne, Dan and Tran are?) The little guy brightens the day of this Dark Knight, and makes me forget all the petty things in life; last night I almost cried when he successfully planted himself on the training paper, and let my arms fall asleep holding up my stomach in the shape of a hammock for his nap... Wait 'til two months later, when I threaten to kill him for chewing on my PlayStation cables. |
Those of you whose belief it was that the breed is entirely computer-generated or was genetically engineered to clean up after the fallout over Shaq's "Taco Neck Syndrome" spots, or even recall pectorally-challenged Ren Höek (from his cartoon with Stimpy) as the first of his kind, might be surprised to know that evidence of their existence dates back as far back as the noble Toltec and Aztec civilizations. All that Battlestar Galactica stuff aside, the Olmec rulers, now they could probably appreciate these latest ads more than anyone, since they actually dined on the little dogs.
Most recently, WWF wrestler Big Boss Man fed a Chihuahua mascot named Pepper to his unsuspecting owner in a demonstration of his "hardcore" credentials. Seems human evolution is measured in more than thousands of years. And direction.
WaWa's head has less the "apple-dome" shape to it than most his kind, and is identified—in other words, greeted with the standard "¡Yo quiero Taco Bell!"—more by his ears, his size and of course, his tremble. This fear of all things greater (95% of the world) explains the incessant bark, which effectively serves as a hundred-foot alarm for intruders, be they neighbors, passing cars or falling leaves.
[Excerpts from Wawa behavioral modification journal] ...While Subject has yet to relinquish his taste for human skin, particularly the fleshy bit between his master's thumb and forefinger, his paper training is complete. Any further lapses should be attributed to personal discomfort and/or illness, attempts at attention, or dissatisfaction with the status quo in general...
...Putting on socks in Subject's presence has become a circus act of sorts, given my height and Olympic sense of balance. Has proven "fetch" an instinctive drive by learning it before "come," "sit," or "shut the $*@& up." Four months later, and he's broken the three-pound barrier...
...Subject has finally learned to discern doorbells and knocks on television from those actually at the house, after two seasons of sitcoms and pizza commercials (which the writers of neither seem able to do without). Favorite food: cantaloupe (warning: water-laden fruit, when overfed, causes incontinence)...
...Subject has regressed to a feral state, disregarding more than a year of sanitary living. Discipline after a protest urination has apparently left him tramautized with the act itself, rather than where it was done; he now prefers to hold it until his remarkably large bladder gives, usually in the morning, and on the sheets. My degree in (Human) Psychology is useless beyond this hypothetical analysis. Drop me a message with a suggestion, or else I'll have no choice but to do like the Olmecs.