1-800-510-SEXY

(Also of 1-500-315-SEXY, 1-800-205-PLAY, 1-800-333-YESS, 1-800-694-WILD, and, most recently, even one with an international access code, too... E-mail me to keep this list up to date!)

Welcome to the cyberspace shrine dedicated to the worship of this mysterious media personality, who like some goddess from ancient mythology, arrives from out of the very air itself and appears to lonely shepherds only at night, and to the answer to the such questions as, "Who is she?" "Where does she come from?" and "Well, we may know her phone number, but what's her street address?"

She's no great intellect, that much one might conclude. Either that, or her claim to know my "inter-most" fantasies [emphasis mine] is not the glaring result of ignorant adherence to a poor script, but rather her own, sly interpretation of it. Her smile at the end seems to meet that theory. Perhaps she is conveying a greater message, one that belies the sincerity of the phone-sex industry itself--then again, maybe she really is an idiot.

Poetry in Progress: Ode to My 1-800-510-SEXY Sweetheart

Life couldn'tve been any worse
My body my heart's hearse
So much pain and no nurse
To deliver me from this curse
....

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Back to the brain

For entertainment purposes only. No advertising is being conducted nor commercial interest meant to be furthered. This page is in no way an endorsement of the product whose spokesperson lies herein in tribute--unless, of course, she really does answer the phone.