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The new art is fantastic and apparently there’s plenty of fan service from the earlier games (note how the screenshot is a mixture of the two), but it didn’t do much differently enough to hold my attention any longer than the originals today. IIRC even the third installment had an adventure-like stage where you could backtrack, and who knows, maybe this one does, too, but we didn’t get that far.

I was thinking, why not use the advances in technology since, that surely have more to offer than the leap in character animation Street Fighter made in the 90’s, to take the side-scroller in another direction? Computing power must be there to split the screen like above and allow players to venture off on different paths, into buildings and up stairs (where enemies could be thrown out windows into the fray below) or into sewers, then converge at a boss. Or zoom out a bit and increase the playfield to “brawler” size, have teams face off against each other like gangs, and winners progress to subsequent maps, each of which represents a city block and might very well be roguelike procedurally generated.

Getting back to my very boring story about faucets and dishwasher. So I said to the head, I called up– great dishwasher company from Ohio that we saved, by the way. I said, what’s the problem with your dishwasher?

Well, they don’t give us any water. I mean, you know, it’d be nice to be able to get enough water. What’s the problem? We need more water. Not that much.

Like, I said, how much you need? This– would you like more? Well, I’d love more. Would you give us– well, yeah, I’ll give you more. You have so much water you don’t know what to do with it, right? So we gave them what they need. And now the dishwashers are incredible. They work beautifully.

And you go one time, and you come back, and your dishes are nice and beautiful and clean and dry. You don’t have to go 10 times. The same thing with the restrictors in the faucet. So I hate to say the three things. It’s the shower. It’s the sink. And you know the third element in the bathroom. But I don’t say it because every time I say it, they only talk about that one because it’s sort of gross to talk about, right?

So I won’t I won’t talk about the fact that people have to flush their toilet 15 times. OK? I will not talk about it. I’ll only talk about showers and– OK? But there is three things. I won’t talk about it. This way, they can’t report it.

So what happens? So what happens, I call my environmental people. Why are we doing this? Because when you wash your hands, it takes you five times longer. You know, the water’s [INAUDIBLE]. You get soap. You can’t get it off. I said, open it up. They said, what do you mean? Take the restrictors off.

People know. And if you’re out here, you’ve got to be careful, and you got to do all the things you’ve been doing anyway. Take the restrictors off. And you may leave it in certain areas where you might need it. But most of the country– big portion, it doesn’t need it.

Then on the shower, the worst. You ever get under a shower where no water comes out? And me, I want that hair to be so beautiful. [INAUDIBLE]. I want the hair to look good. I go into some of these hotels– you know, you travel. I go into these hotels, new hotels. They do a nice job. It’s not their fault. And I get in there. I say, Oh, I can look at it now. I know they– everything.

I say, Oh, here we go. Turn on the water. Drip, drip, drip, [INAUDIBLE] drip, drip. But now you go into a shower, and the water pours out. You go into a sink, and you can wash your hands very nicely. Beautiful. And the third thing to worry about, OK, we won’t talk about. Just one time. That’s all.

I remember seeing what was probably an early edition at Thayer Street Books, which looks long gone now, wondering if it’d help me with the mile run at school. Knowing that Fixx himself died on a run might have turned me off this lifetime path that still has me struggling with to beat my time from only a year ago, and risking another injury or worse over the single-file bridges and along the overflow creek where the homeless camp their bicycle chop shops at night.

Not much more to add than what’s already been archived on Reddit for the life of the Internet, but personally it pains me to corroborate that the 2-nonenal or 加齢臭 from our decaying heads does indeed serve as flypaper. It must’ve been so obvious while I swatted away and deluded myself into blaming the Mountain Dew.