윤

Watched the live-action remake of 宇宙戦艦ヤマト this weekend, and wasn’t let down much. If anything, it was too faithful to the source material, like Watchmen, but at least they didn’t have to blow up Vulcan for the widescreen. They even threw in one of the most memorable scenes from my youth——though theirs didn’t come close. (The uncensored original fills in the gaps.) Was really special, wasn’t it? I remember reading where some of Star Wars came from, but nothing’s more deserving of its share of the credit.

As out of it as I may seem sometimes, my attention will always be there for a mobile app that purports to take you to another reality of some greater import. Perhaps it goes back to waiting for all my cellphones to ring, beating X in a dingy Japanese youth hostel fortified by warm はちみつレモン, or thinking the low-battery antics on my Mattel Electronics Auto Race meant that something special was happening. To me. This time it’s called “Shadow Cities” and what I like (assuming I’ve read the conceit right) is being able to conquer your own block, virtually, and “call” everything in it, at least in your own mind.

Things might change again now that DCUO has gone live, but Netflix certainly filled the gap, with its impressively-grown library of streaming titles. Last weekend was the superb Kurosawa police procedural 天国と地獄, and this past Sunday I sat down (several times, as resources permitted) to this “seminal ninja film” where Raizô Ichikawa makes you wonder how the stereotype in its progeny, such as 비’s recent namesake, became so gloomy and one-dimensional. First he falls for the boss’s wife—working as the company accountant, no less—then slacks off when he’s supposed to be atoning for his dishonor and instead hooks up at the nearest brothel! I especially liked the closing shots of his jubilant return home, obviously at the same breakneck pace, which isn’t done enough anymore.

Not the first of the year, because last night was like most these days, USA-network marathons in my mind, but this one I recall: I was playing an FFXI-ish videogame, and like one of those challenges where you have to wait for the proper alignment of mobs before moving (like the low-level run through Delkfutt’s Tower for that first Moogle expansion pack), four Shogun Warriors surrounded me in a small room. My impatience got the better of me, and I made a break for it, with at least two of them in pursuit. There was the usual incongruity between my fleeing avatar and myself, and the latter just stepped out of the simulated world through a service exit. I was, however, still in a foreign environment, and seeing movement at the end of a hall, thought to stay as out of sight as possible. Hugging the back wall led to a restroom, where I hoped to find a spare guard’s uniform. None of the khaki-green outfits were my size, and a cleaning lady asked me where I had come from; I tried to get away with an exotic change of subject by asking her if she was familiar with Japan. Never do that, I would learn, unless you’re sure of where you are, because, as it turns out, we were there: I proceeded outside and a large window revealed a snow-covered mountain and a marvelous high-tech bridge leading to it. The woman reported me to the staff, and soon I was being led away through these offices of the game developer. An old friend from Santa Clara spotted me in the lobby and approached.

So Chipotle’s turning Japanese. Or Chinese. (Anyone remember Olive Garden’s China Coast? I only have confirmation there was indeed a “Great Wall” sampler on the menu.) Well, it doesn’t specify the Asian concept, so who knows, could it even be the 비빔밥 idea I had a while back? Then again, the best place for this ever, in Koreatown Galleria, I recently discovered had abandoned theirs for some bland BBQ or tofu staple, so maybe the time wasn’t right for B-B-BOP.

And as such, I could manipulate the wind beneath me precisely enough (however complicated the mathematics, I reasoned; after all, I was a god) to sustain my flight across the country. My traveling companion, alas, was not one of several comely candidates for oracle at my shrine, but old co-worker Jackson Chandler. We were amidst some discussion when I realized we had wandered into a cave lined with ancient pillars that had long existed unbeknownst to modern man. A change of perspective made me yet another person, and the now three of us stopped our horizontal movement to elevate through an opening above. Behind us, what originally appeared to be a giant statue of a camel broke from the wall and lifted off its brontosaurus neck to reveal several more of its kind, covered with leech-like parasites. [Bafflingly well-received White on Rice mentioned the dinosaur in a rather mean scene about an unusually tall Japanese woman.]

TV’s will soon be so thin they’ll be recessed, but they can’t invent a scanner that slides between pages?

All pictures of me must have background wallpaper with the words 「パンツ」　「スケベ本」　「女湯」 and　「女更衣室」, too.

I always kept remembering this series’ title as “Long Lost Love Letter”; I may have tuned in for 常盤貴子, but stayed for the odd premise (which, with its castaway time travel, isn’t too unfamiliar) among the usual Sunday evening fare. I missed most of the last one, but enough of their message back got through that not only did they all avoid getting stuck in the 漂流教室 that fateful Saturday, but also somehow managed to avert the apocalypse. Sorta like what they wanted the Jughead to do at the end of Season Five, if it also took out Locke …come to think of it, the drama did drag on the requisite number of episodes, and I recall a student’s ridiculous pre-netbook battery lasting weeks on its single charge, but I dug the choice of theme song—island, get it? 老婆 says the original was better, but lately I’m of the opinion that まんが is best distilled.

I might as well make it a series while I’m helplessly standing by during 老婆’s agony.

Dual-boxing FF (not to mention fighting Dynamis Lord on PUP) is a given, but 用を足すのもトイレのドアを開けた、リアルな人間関係はない「ネトゲ廃女」？

Not to equate adultery with rape, but is someone who cheated on her husband really the most qualified person to be reporting on the evils of sexual freedom?

Korean women baffle me (cf. 진라). Then again, there’s this guy’s wife: