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The timing of Toho’s first new feature following シン (and their monsters-only shorts), the Apple series and another Legendary sequel next April would’ve spoiled 8-year-old me who’d go on to starve between Star Wars installments.

The “just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in” line actually comes from the third and mostly awful Godfather movie, which I still also look back at for its portrayal of the way I least want to die, but that fucker who I had been watching for the past few weeks pushed me over the edge by letting Lae’zel die while simping Shadowheart as his “RP” love interest. So much for my console abstinence—which was hardly a show of principle if I’m to be honest, and more stubbornness to remount the gear treadmill, both in-game and out.

Immaculately dressed blonde British spy and I solved the mystery behind the whereabouts of the legendary weapon and unearthed it from a burlap cover in an abandoned warehouse; we knew it wouldn’t be easy returning the treasure to her government (despite serving as no basis for its system, since supreme executive power of course derives from a mandate from the masses), so I put her hand on its hilt and hid it under her long coat, holding her closely as we waded through the crowds on the street, separating momentarily to pass when they got densest.

No one’s gonna remember this nameless filler for those times in the week when AMC couldn’t air The Walking Dead, but every few years I feel like an underachieving nobody hung up on the past I return to watch all the ones whose lives it shared for its 20-episode run. Cut short? Maybe, nobody cares. The whole show was a big fat zugzwang. I suppose Mrs. Davis attempted something of the sort, but freeyow, was that cast good-looking, their characters too Harry Potter for my idea of Pynchon, and conspiracies nowadays might want to keep a lower profile. Setting it in nearby shitty Long Beach helped, too.

Chris hadn’t recognized the cartoon Easter Egg in the recent D&D movie, so we reviewed those scenes in the “maze” on his Apple TV’s Paramount+ subscription before I turned a nap into the rest of the night, which must have contributed to this sci-fi/horror premise where three of us, one group of many, found ourselves in a modern building not unlike Dongdaemun Design Plaza whose long hallways were lined with unmarked rooms containing dangerous surprises, and it was our mission to find an exit before succumbing to them. My party-mates were Ron C., I think, and a pole-less adult version of Diana the Acrobat in the yellow jumpsuit we contestants were all assigned. Our first obstacle to the next floor were large halls patrolled by car-sized cats, which we could see through a window pouncing on others as they attempted to pass. Two old ladies seated outside recommended we try the dogs instead and not to show any fear when they approached. Sure enough, a harnessed Golden Retriever with legs my height came at us like a train but stopped only to sniff as we slowly made our way to a door at the other end.

We somehow reached safety on a level above, but curiosity about the workings of the facility led me quite foolishly back downstairs to sneak a look-don’t-tell at the maintenance crew cleaning up the mangled bodies from different rooms. I thought I was a safe distance from them but was too far from the stairwell and the open corridor offered no hiding place when an official spotted me. My uniform was a dead giveaway so I leaned against the door beside me and pretended to have been ordered to wait there. The explanation seemed to trigger one in her mind, as she went on about how the “Destroyers” needed to recharge and left with her entourage satisfied. These people were in the business of mass extermination, and before the coast was clear for me to leave my post, a snobbish general-type emerged from an office to my left complaining about debris in the form of a severed arm, opened my door and tossed it inside before returning.

Wasn’t going to let go without a look back at some of my remaining memories from the series, those weird aliens with bowler hats, the kid in the mirror world saying he doesn’t have a reflection to break (which I really could’ve sworn wasn’t from the Black-and-White season), and the awesome way they’d abruptly lead into the next episode after an almost disappointing lack of epilogue at the end. Lesson I should’ve learned was that you’re never lost when you’ve got each other? And apparently some of the From showrunners worked on Lost, but I stick by what I recently said that whatever it is they’ve put together so far and dangle for as long as their budget lasts reminds me less of it and more of Land of the Lost.

I’m still reeling from the events of last weekend, but carry on as I always have with the imaginary solace that American safety net GoFundMe is amassing for William Cho a Bruce Wayne-sized estate to make something of a legacy. It was actually the night before that I sat for this recent release, was mildly entertained by its refreshingly tongue-in-cheek approach to the genre, only to spot right away what has understandably got to be my favorite cameo ever, despite it being no strange a feature in all these nostalgic sequels and remakes.

I forgot, I really did like seeing some of the 60’s cast members in the one-off Lost in Space movie—starring Gary Oldham? (And Heather Graham, who is always welcome to segue into my subconscious.) The show came up, right on cue, when I was reminded of Dr. Smith’s “oh, the pain” catchphrase upon turning over another year and expecting little else to convince me not to make it my own. Learning that Jonathan Harris was 54 during his act (and milked it for 3 decades) doesn’t help.

Spate of new-ish programming lately that’s kept me powering through the interminably repetitive weeks: From is back and as abstruse as ever; Matt U. assured me there’s a supernatural component to Yellowjackets, so I gave in to see what all the hoopla is about; Mrs. Davis, Damon Lindelof’s latest romp, about an omnipresent AI that is actually hardly around; Rabbit Hole, which really should’ve gone where its title suggests but instead seems like a worse version of Mrs. Davis; and the superior spy show with the MI5 rejects in “Slough House.” Gary Oldham’s Jackson Lamb is the freshest character I’ve seen in some time.

Apple’s been picking some winners lately, so I gave Silo a shot, and the scene with Rebecca Ferguson climbing toward answers at the end of the second episode must’ve led me to a dead end in a neighborhood completely sealed off by connected buildings, some businesses like a coin laundry, most of the others residential. The cul-de-sac didn’t appear to have any exit than the way I came, until I spotted what looked like one on the third floor up a mesh ladder, followed by the traditional kind from the second level. Surprisingly no fear of heights. An Indian woman called for her boys Xavier and Shervin, neither of which I recognized as Hindi names. A prominent radio antennae stood on the roof.