Don't want this to sound too much like a standup bit, but if you're ever low on cash for lunch but can't meet the minimum for credit cards and the ATM is occupied by an elderly couple, order dinner, too. They seem to go through the entire menu of options, as if learning the machine's operating system, and for each transaction—I watch them inserting and removing their card several times and receive numerous receipts over the length of their stay—like they have a real-life teller all to themselves and can ask every little thing about their account that comes to mind. The kicker? Ten minutes later they're finished, and they still go into the bank.