No, Capcom has not lost its mind. Mine, however, dreams of being at an indoor performance of Cirque de Soleil-like physical wonders, where black-clad girls curled into balls and spun in the air, then landed effortlessly on the ground. I watched from a second-floor balcony and felt a fear of heights leaning against the metal railing. Another veiled woman tried reaching below with a very long bamboo pole. It was a parade of real-life Tekken characters marking their latest tournament, but who did I spot in the crowd but Chun-Li herself. I leaped down and sat across from her, greeting her by kicking the soles of our outstretched feet together in a friendly show of strength. She was good, I warned her, but not enough to take on these “Japanese demons.” (Not sure if I was referring to Yoshimitsu, who’s not really supernatural, is he, or one of those creatures who is.) Her costume was loose-fitting and when she sat beside me, I noticed her face had the acne of a teenager’s.

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