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I made it.

I’ve been fairly vocal on Reddit (my forum of choice lately) about my disdain for Joss Whedon’s approach for the Avengers—after all, what’s even the point of live-action superheroes if they’re not even going to try to make them believable—so I can readily forgive the handheld and emphasis on wholesale destruction, which is the least I’d expect were gods to walk the earth.I might as well commit my hope for the sequel to writing, because as surprisingly pleased as I was by this introduction (my reaction to Batman Begins, conversely, couldn’t prepare me at all for the majestic follow-up), I’m almost certain to be disappointed by any let-up in the breakneck pace. Nothing save the Justice League will top the Marvel squad now, so instead of spending $300 mil trying to convince us it can be done with Metallo or Brainiac or Luthor in ludicrous armor, I suggest the monomaniacal multi-billionaire use his resources to round up the world’s finest challengers to the alien threat. That pilot who was inducted into an intergalactic police force might be hailed back with enough investment in the right technologies. Rumors of vigilantes in Central City and Gotham investigated. He could even Charles Widmore a trip to a legendary lost island of the Amazons. And Atlantis. They’d all go at him, of course, which is what I’d rather have seen between Thor, Iron Man and the Hulk than them squashing that incompetent army Loki skimped on, then realize that he’s the real deal, the Man of Tomorrow.

It’s not the gut-buster that alas, only Parks & Rec still is, but even Community (with or without Harmon) could learn a thing or two about craft from the design (and delivery) of this special season. Some jokes, like “bread from Olive Garden” work, and the rest earn a smirk, from, at least to me, the sheer ambition behind its conceit. And with each passing meh-mory I’m convinced, if there’s anything lacking these days keeping us from lasting epics, it’s the ambition to make them.

The physiological adjustment required of me Mondays would’ve ordinarily had me skip this one, but for a coincidental “slow news day” article: the Italian bombshell (late of Reddit) had since retired to a life of public service, which included rescue missions in her flying car. I was with old mates Michael Su and Rajeev Gantela on such a excursion to a wildfire site, which began over harmless enough ramps, then took to the air with the kind of launch so common in my dreams, that we couldn’t possibly survive. I turned to my panicked companions and asked them if either of them did, to give my family my love, but prematurely. The incident left me skeptical, however, despite playback of the landing, so Ms. Loren took it upon herself to prove to me that the ride hadn’t been a ruse by returning me to our safety seats in a dark room. The cross arrangement and wiring reminded me of the “Back to Reality” episode of Red Dwarf, didn’t it?

[from my Reddit submission, because nothing lasts forever on the Internet] …and while I’m grateful for their viewership, I can’t help but feel the show’s lost a little of its appeal—ironically, by demonstrating it to the kind of wider audience that’d guarantee future seasons. Forgive me if the subject of having your particular interest horned in on by people who disgust you has already been discussed extensively, much less resolved by hive-mind therapy, but this just happens to be the one that cheers me up from a family situation their membership makes worse.

IL from checking her Netflix envelope she left over the weekend; I insist, however, that any breach of privacy is out-douched (douché?) by this obvious lack of dedication and explanation why better fans have to wait on queues for their discs. She’s only watching because of her boyfriend, anyway, just as she did Chappelle for the one with the Wu-Tang T-shirt and anime for the perv after that. I cringe imagining her turning to ask what was so funny and follow-up jokes going unappreciated in the meantime.

El Tigre Chino, Spanish Halloween, “Pop pop”, all these great Community exclusives I now have to share with them. Maybe I just need to chillax.

An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day…

“In English,” he said, “a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn’t a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative.”

A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”

…And yet I don’t think the problem’s been solved. I could supply a dozen reasons why, from the inevitable uneven weight distribution to cramped quarters dictating one side swiveled over the other, but it’s more a matter of the conflict behind it sustaining itself. After all, would a ménage à trois really sort out Ginger v. Mary Ann? Regardless of your place in the dialectic, petulant Larry David-types like me need this to justify our natures—and distinguish them from everybody else’s. Like the cup analogy, some may see one, half-full or empty, and say, I’ll have what they’re having; I ask, what kind of person would leave it that way in the first place?