Recurring dream from my past hasn’t bothered me for as long as I can remember (nor competently search), but returned last night: I didn’t get any details, because they’re never important; some brute would grab me by a vulnerable spot, I think this time it was near my armpit but my genitals were a favorite target, and clamp down with such force that left me paralyzed and helpless. Worse, however, is the feeling of shame for such frailty, whether from failing to master challenges to my psyche in my own back yard or develop a modicum of confidence after a lifetime of them. I used to think the pain was manifesting a real inflammation, maybe a bug bite, nocturnal spasm, the wife taking out her frustrations on me in my sleep, or else could it be the guilt from a weekend spent weakly watching playthroughs of Baldur’s Gate 3 on the couch?
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And why don't I just host this on my website? They're so passé. Well, mine is.
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